CHAPTER 5 - WE ARE FLOURISHING, AREN'T WE?

     Welcome to our Womens Fellowship/Study where we are learning about the plan God has for us in our later years of life.  We may be experiencing health issues or physical changes or lonliness or a slowing down or a lack of energy or interest in activities we once did.  AGING WITH GRACE, and the Word of God are teaching us that we have God's richest blessings now; that we are not washed up or just hanging in there until eternity when we will be whole again.  

                                

Every week I write a summary of each chapter, and share my own perceptions.  While I hope you will have your own book to study and Bible to read, I invite you to come to these weekly posts and will answer the questions in each chapter.  

God tells us in his Word of his HESED - his loving kindness or steadfast love - that love that is beyond any love we can imagine, including accepting us after we've sinned, over and over again. (LOVING KINDNESS, STEADFAST LOVE Exodus 34:6)

God tells us in his Word of the TIKVAH - Hope - we have when we seek Him daily and continue to praise Him for our blessings today, despite our difficult times in the past. (HOPE Ezekiel 37:11)

The Revive our Heats Women's Ministry Website is found here at this link: AGING WITH GRACE and is written by Sharon W. Betters & Susan Hunt. Here you can listen to the authors discussing their faith in regards to Aging and the concepts in their book.   

You can order this invaluable book through the Revive our Hearts website or on Amazon.   You'll not be sorry, even if you aren't much of a reader, I believe you will find such hope in their own life experiences and the scriptures that bring us closer to God in our "Afternoon of Life", a title given by another writer. That's why ten (10) of us are reading this book.  And whether we are meeting face to face or reading the book and these blog posts, we are all women of God who are seeking to Flourish and be Hopeful, by knowing the plan the LORD has for us now, in our senior years of life. 

OPENING PRAYER:

PSALM 86:11, 12 Teach me your way, O LORD; that I may live according to Your Truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you. With my whole heart I will praise you, O Lord my God.  I will glory to your name forever; for Your love for me is very great. AMEN

CHAPTER 5 begins with a question:  

QUESTION 1: What are some words that you may have used when you were younger that defined aging?

Mine are: sick, old, sedentary, old-fashioned; and all knowing, wise, loving, content

I know that I was blessed to have TWO sets of grandparents and ONE great-grandmother in my life, while growing up.    My paternal grandmother was too old to play with us.  I recall her sitting in her rocking chair and needing help to get to the bathroom. She wore a housedress, I never saw her with pants on, and her hair was in a braided bun. It was my grandfather who was more active, who did the cooking, played with us kids, though my family was the youngest of the grandkids.    

Here is what the scriptures say about being old:

PSALM 92:12-14  Our Focus Scripture

The righteous (Who?) will flourish (do what?) like a palm tree,
    they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
13 planted in the house of the Lord,
    they will flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They will still bear fruit in old age,
    they will stay fresh and green,

15 

 I never once thought about being an old woman, like my paternal grandmother.  But I did wonder if I would be an "all knowing" older woman like my mother's mother, my gram. Would I teach my children or grandchildren to knit or crochet like she taught us? (Yes I have) Would I take care of my family, be involved in a Bible study group and church every Sunday like Gram was? (Yes I do) Even though she was old at 87 when she passed away, I never looked to her like she was anything but good.  I never saw any errors, or illness, or unloving ways about her.  

I also wondered about the old age of my maternal great-grandmother.   She was old, but unbelievably strong.  I don't remember much about interacting with her when I was young.  My gramma and grampa lived with her in her later years, so she was always around when we visited with them. As a child, I didn't know that her husband (my grandpa's father) was killed in a mine accident when she was expecting their last of five children.  To my recollection, his death and her raising the children alone and working hard for them was never discussed with us since we were kids. (At the time I am writing this, it is exactly 1 week short of 100 years since Great- Grandfather died in the mining accident, Nov 2, 1926)

But neither of my grandmothers were a member of the DOLC.

DOLC is Domineering Old Ladies Club ".....it is a group of older women who like to think of themselves as the matriachs of the Church....However, they lack any real submissiveness towards those in leadership. If you notice, they get their way and will do what it takes to bring it about.....Men tend to fear this group.......The DOLC......make sure that the younger women are not involved in any aspect of the women's ministries, or other ministries for that matter, when it might challenge the DOLCs control and power." Timothy J. Hammons, 2015. 

Now, one way we live out God's truth in our lives is to live in community with others.  AGING WITH GRACE chapters have stated this many times, that we cannot flourish by ourselves.  We do not rejoice in our blessings and praise the Lord for his lovingkindness and hope by becoming stagnant and spend time alone.   But we DO flourish and have hope when we live in community with others who are also "nestled in God's heart, that is our local church." (page 102)

The Church is: (note that the Church is not referring to your specific church.)

+People of God in all times and places that are redeemed, justified, adopted, and sanctified in Him

+All those living in His presence

+A Covenant (promise) community to make Jesus known

+People who have been entrusted with the living word of the living God

+ BUT SOMETIMES the church is hard to love            (Page 103)

QUESTION 2 Do you love your church because it is the Body of Christ?

As we age, we serve in different ways.  That's only logical, isn't it?  So if we taught Sunday School or worked in the Nursery when we were a young mother, will we be critical of the changes that are made after us?  Or will we make the choice to pray for the new ministry partners AND recognize that less energy actually frees us.   Will we rest in the assurance that we may not see the fruit of our prayers but that GOD will answer them in His time and in His way?

LORD, help me to recognize these changes in my own life, and deliver me from being critical.   Guard  my heart, mind and tongue from becoming a Domineering Old Lady!

QUESTION 3 Do you feel that you have earned the right to say whatever you want because of your age? 

When we nurse our disappointments and make other feel guilty for not calling us or our family from not visiting us; or when we brood over unmet expectations; when we hold grudges for decades, our roots become life-takers instead of life-givers.   

Becoming a life-giver is a process of dying to self, so we are not focused on just us, but Jesus, and His life flows from us to bless others. Living this way does not get easier as we age. 

Today's Hebrew word is PARACH - it means to bud, sprout or blossom.   This is FLOURISH.  The word for FRUITFUL is PARCH which is to increase or bear fruit. 

"Even when our bodies grow old, God causes our new desires to flourish as they are fertilized by His Word and Spirit, and we die to self-centered desires, dreams, and demands." (Page 99.)

A few years ago, say when I was about 68 y.o, I would comment to my cousin that I was surprised that I didn't care about some things I had always cared about.  He would always reply, "Aging."  Over and Over again, he would reply, "Aging."  At one point I asked him not to say that anymore to me.   He is 17 years older than me, so I figured his response was because he was aging, not me.   

Now let's fast forward to this current year when I am 72 y.o. I have realized the changes in my activities and interest.  I started with recalling my cousin's comment, "aging," and at first, I didn't want to accept that was why.  But slowly, I have come around to believing that I am "aging,"   And I must tell you that it wasn't until I read this book AGING WITH GRACE, that I began to realize that "aging" is NOT  anything to fear or to be disppointed about.   My aging is not an immediate transfer to sitting in a rocking chair like my grandmother. My aging isn't an ending to all abilities.  Aging is really a gift, is it not?   And now, to learn that the Lord our God has had a plan for me, for us, in our aged stage of life, is one new joy I have to Praise Him for and to celebrate!

GROWING IN GRACE PRINCIPAL (Page 101)

"Even when our bodies become bent with age, the spirit of the Christian who dies to self and follows Christ grows upright. Like the date palm, she becomes sweeter in old age. And like the full-grown cedar of Lebanon, her presence provides a canopy of gospel refreshment for others."

PSALM 92:12-14  Our Focus Scripture

The righteous (Who?) will flourish (do what?) like a palm tree,
    they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
13 planted in the house of the Lord,
    they will flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They will still bear fruit in old age,
    they will stay fresh and green,

Click this link Sweeter as the Day Goes By  to listen or sing along with this song.  This came to mind when I read this Growing in Grace Principal. 

Now as you have time, read the whole chapter - there's so much more to read and ponder.  And let's remember this is not the time of our life to be angry, to think we can be domineering or complaining because we've earned it.  I've had to work through that anger and frustration with my grown family, in their lack of interaction, but now I can celebrate me and the Lord I serve.  Join me in celebrating, won't you?

Let's praise the Lord for his HESED, TIKVAH and PARACH, PARCH - Lovingkindness, Hope, so that we can FLOURISH and be FRUITFUL in the house of the Lord, in Community with other believers. 

Thanks for joining us.   Leave a comment here or email me at sboback54@gmail.com

Be Blessed! sb

CHAPTER 4 HOPEFUL ONES

 In reading Aging with Grace we have declared that we want to Flourish!  That God loves us with steadfast love - a love that accepts every sin we ever commit and continually loves us deeply in way that we, ourselves are not capable of loving.  We read about destiny and destination, and to praise the Lord right now in our life and not wait out every day just "hanging in there" or "getting by under the circumstances."

                             

It is true that we may feel this way: unloved, sinful, lonely, no direction, no exuberance for joy, or no hope for a blessing now in our senior years. It is true that our lives are changing and that just "hanging in there" is all that we can manage. 

The writers of Aging with Grace, which lead us to the scriptures of the Bible, have given us the insight that there is always more GRACE through our personal relationship with God.  

Aging with Grace is encouragement to women 60 to 80 y.o. and "flourishing in an anti-aging culture." Click on the link to hear the authors who are guests on the Revive Our Hearts ministry page.   There you will also find information about purchasing this book.  Read along with 10 of us who are reading the book.   

I pray that "the God of hope will fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may about in hope." AMEN (Rom 15:13

Chapter 4 has a focus on JEREMIAH 29:11-14

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

The chapter opens with a woman's story about the grief she had after the death of her baby and then her husband. Our author goes on to share how empty her own life was after her kids left for college, one got married, and then one died in a fatal accident.

Even if you haven't lost a child, a spouse, or experienced grief from the personal loss of someone you loved, keep reading as there is more to this chapter than GRIEF.   

GRIEF is more than losing a loved one to death.   GRIEF is any loss we have that changes our lifestyle, our thinking, sleeping, eating, daily life.  You can grieve the loss of a home, perhaps due to a financial crises, loss of independence, fire, tornado or hurricane.  The loss of a job, the income which translates into lifestyle and support for your family is about grief.  When your long-time neighbors have moved or your home church is closing; or you lose your ability to travel or drive or be as active as you once were, its all GRIEF.  

In an earlier chapter, we read that it's ok to look back at our lives, about mistakes or tragedies or wrong paths we followed, but not to linger on those memories and to celebrate how far we've come - how the Lord has blessed us beyond that situation. 

The opening question is "would I stay a prisoner to my grief or trust God to use my grief as a path to deep understanding of His love and purpose for my life?"   Are you stuck in the sadness or frustration or anger or disappointment that your loss has caused in your life?

Be honest.  Look at your life.  What are you hanging on to and trying to manage by yourself?

In Jeremiah we read about the people who were exiled by God due to their decisions to choose alternative lifestyles and gods.   God instructed the people to settle down and flourish.  The people thought it would be a temporary situation, but imagine their disappointment when God did not respond till 70 years later.  Some of these people died before they experienced God's promise. 

When I read about this, it made me think about my own frustrations, of having to wait till I get to heaven to no longer have afflictions or inabilities or illness. 

But then God has already given us the comfort we need - right now!  God has given us Hope, he has given us JESUS!

The Bible verse "Seek and ye shall find" popped into my mind and I realized that we can't sit and wait and twiddle our thumbs!  We have to seek the Lord now, and be in relationship with Him so that we can have the knowledge of his plan for us! the plan that is stated in Jeremiah 29: 11-14!

"This story in Jeremiah is about defiance, doom and destruction.   

Here's the three options that the women of that time had, and that we should be asking ourselves:

1) Do we want to stay in a bad situation, because we don't want to confess and make changes?

2) Do we want to be bitter towards God because we don't trust Him to lead us?

3) Do we want to become humble and trust God's plan and allow it to happen now?

But how about when we feel that because our bodies are breaking down, or beloved people leave our lives, or we're concerned about costs and affording basic needs, or wonder who will take care of us?  Aren't those the things that we, as seniors, experience?"

Scripture promises us that we can be fruitful and flourish but our culture tempts us to believe we are dispensable.  "We do begin to believe that our value is about what we can't do and we forget that we are chosen people of God."

We do have a choice:

1) We can joyfully embrace God's call to live a godly, peaceful life in community with others OR

2) We can choose to be bitter, whining and complaining   

"When the path on which God has placed us seems impossible and we cry out that our hope is lost, the Lord reminds us to cling to the cord of hope that cannot be broken." (Page 90)

"For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephe 2:10

(Prayer by Nancy Lee DeMoss Wolgemuth)

We need fellowship with God's people to inspire us.   We ne

ed to stay close to "hopeful ones" who will be actively involved when we need them.

Who are your "HOPEFUL ONES"?   Are you someone else's HOPEFUL ONE?

Visiting others, calling to check in, sending a text, bringing bakery, making a meal, cleaning, doing laundry, providing transportation, bringing the person on an outing, sitting in quiet, reading the Bible for someone. 

What would enable us to live in a way so that we can help hearts turn others towards God?   Perhaps that's not in your mind - helping someone else turn towards God.  Maybe you just want to have a more hopeful attitude or a peaceful mind.   But don't forget that our lifestyle, actions, conversations do turn others towards God. 

TIKVAH is the Hebrew word for HOPE.

The question we are left with is this:

"How are you traveling heavenward?"

This is a time to look at our lives.   What are we grieving?  What are we putting our trust in?   Who are we spending time with?   Are we just getting by or are we praising the Lord for the plan that He has for us?  Are we seeking Him in our daily walk so that we can KNOW Him and learn of His plan for each day of our lives until we pass from this day to the next?

In this book, there are so much more to read, and to ponder.   Reading the whole chapter and answering the questions at the end are so important for your personal reflection.

Remember that to flourish we need the Lord and we need community.  We will not flourish and experience the HESED (steadfast love) or the TIKVAH (hope) if we try to get by or hang in there till the end of our earthly days.

Let's praise the Lord!  Let's thank him for our life, for our situation today!  And let's remember that these days of our lives are just as important as the years past - we still have a purpose!

I'm so glad you joined me in reading AGING WITH GRACE.  If you're not joining us in person, keep in touch here and by message or email.   

Be Blessed!sb

AGING WITH GRACE - Ch 3 Destiny to Destination

Aging with Grace is a book written by Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt.  We are using this book along with our Bibles in our in-person Womens Fellowship/Study group.  We are glad you are joining us online, either by reading the book, reading these summaries, or by visiting the online resources that coordinate with the book.  You may also decide to purchase the book online - you won't be disappointed.  There are many scripture references for each chapter discussion, plus discussion questions at the end of each chapter.   

I'd love to know your comments, and questions which you can leave at the bottom of this blog post or you can email me at sboback54@gmail.com. 

Make sure to read each of the blog posts starting with an announcement about the goals of the Womens Fellowship/Study and the Introduction of this book.  

We are women, in our late 60's and older, who have felt the changes in our bodies and lifestyles during these years of aging. While each of us comes from different circumstances, when we gather together in person or with you across the internet, we gather as a community of faithful women who are seeking to Know the LORD on a deeper level and especially as we travel through these years. 

CHAPTER 3 DESTINY AND DESTINATION

Heavenly Father: Your word IS a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.  Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths.  Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You, I will wait all the day long. You have made known to me the paths of life; You will make me full of gladness with Your presence.  (Psalms 119: 105; 25:4-5; Acts 2:28) AWG

This week's chapter is focused on Psalm 92:5-11

What comes to mind when you think of the word, "DESTINY"?

"Manifest Destiny" is the first thing I thought of.  It means "the 19th-century doctrine or belief that the expansion of the United States throughout the American continents was both justified and inevitable."

Or how about "Destiny" a Swedish heavy metal band that was formed in 1980.  

I haven't heard this for a while, but you'd often hear that when you found your ideal job or one to love, "it must be my destiny."

From our author, Susan Hunt, her dictionary definition is "a predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible course of events. Synonyms (words that are similar) "fate, fortune, luck, karma, chance, providence, predestination, divine decree, God's will, reflecting two contrasting views."

Scripture tells us God "foreknew" each of us before we were born, and that He has a plan for our lives. (Ephesians 1:4-6)

In Chapter 1 we read this statement:

WHAT IF:  we are supposed to discover who we really are or have been since the 1st half of our life?

This statement seems to make more and more sense as we read and discover that God has planned this stage of our life more than we ever thought.

What comes to mind when you think of the word, "DESTINATION"?

The first definition that popped into my mind was a “Destination Wedding”.  A wedding that is planned all around a special place, a special vacation for a few special people.

The definitions I found are "Place" or "a specific place to arrive at".  The Dictionary definition is finish line; goal to keep in mind; where you intend to end up.

PSALM 92: 5-11

How great are your works, Lord,

how profound your thoughts! Senseless people do not know,

fools do not understand, that though the wicked spring up like grass

and all evildoers flourish,

they will be destroyed forever. But you, Lord, are forever exalted. For surely your enemies, Lord,

surely your enemies will perish;

all evildoers will be scattered.  You have exalted my horn[a] like that of a wild ox;

fine oils have been poured on me. My eyes have seen the defeat of my adversaries;

my ears have heard the rout of my wicked foes.

Our author points us that to the question, 'how are you doing?. We often hear (or we say it ourselves) these responses "Oh, I'm okay under the circumstances," or "I'm hanging in there".  She continues to tell us that if we are in Christ, if we are confident in who we are - an active follower of Christ – we would not be using these phrases.  

The question then is "are you in the world" or "are you in Christ"?

I really have to stop and think about that. An immediate, no doubt response would be "I'm in Christ!" but when I think about saying “I'm okay under the circumstances” or "hanging in", I don't really think of it, until now, as admitting that I don't trust the LORD or believe in His plan for me.

How about you?  There's probably times when we have all felt down or been sick for a long time, and really want things to be better than they have been for some time.

We are created to know God, not by our mental capacity but to personally love the Lord our God.

How about that?   I can KNOW God!  You can KNOW God! and He has a plan for me! He has a plan for you! (Page 65 AWG)

At our age, in the Afternoon of Life, it may be hard for us to think about getting to Know God on a deeper level.

The one word that centers my faith is KNOW.   I realized that I knew who God was; I had learned that; I shared the Word of God with people in worship; I knew about the Old Testament history, and I knew about Jesus in New Testament, days of Jesus walking among the people.   But it wasn't until I felt empty and started to SEEK the LORD of the Bible that I discovered who Jesus really is.

Another phrase we often hear or say ourselves, "I'm too old to change," which is also not Biblical thinking.  Our bodies change, so do our hearts. But “When our hope is in Christ, our circumstances don’t always change, but there is radical change in our character, attitudes and actions.” (Page 66) We have found our DESTINY

PRAISE: Praising God opens the door to who you become NOW.  Its discovering your destiny - your destination from NOW to Eternity.  It doesn't start at eternity. 

Let’s not forget that we proclaimed in the beginning of this study that we want to FLOURISH. Flourishing happens in community.  Old age is a time to press close to community life. (page 72) Even if we cannot always attend worship in person, we can pray for and encourage others.

I had missed two weeks in a row, then went back, then got sick and missed another.   I am grateful for the opportunity to join in worship online with my church family.  But I know of others who cannot attend in person due to their personal or family circumstances. We are still in community with others, joining online and praying for one another. 

“We need the “means of Grace” – scripture, prayer, worship, sacrament – to remind us.  We need fellowship with God’s people to inspire us.  When we gather with others, we look around and see others who are waiting for the Savior.   We see widows, we see women whose lives were taken up with caregiving, we see others who live in chronic pain, and those that are starting after divorce.  The pain and sorrow of this world spills into our lives but we do not live without hope (1 Thess 4:13)”

Matt 18:20 is a reminder to us “where two or more are gathering in my name, there I am among them.” A temptation of those in the Afternoon of Life is to withdraw.  But we FLOURISH when we gather together with God’s people because He is there with us.  

SUMMARY:  Remember that

+          God has a role for us NOW – that our DESTINATION is to be seeking Him, to thrive in Him

+          we are to PRAISE Him NOW through eternity. 

+          we FLOURISH when we can gather together in His name

Thanks for stopping by.   Make sure to click on the links above for information about the book or the Revive Our Hearts Womens Ministry.   Be Blessed! sb