AGING WITH GRACE - INTRO & CHAPTER 1

Hello there! Welcome to Women's Fellowship and Study.  We're in the "Afternoon of Life" since we are in our mid 50's to 85+ years old.   Pull up a chair - there's room in our community around the LORD's table. 

AGING WITH GRACE or AWG, written by Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt, who themselves were in the Afternoon of Life, often talked about how hard it is to flourish at this stage of life, when they have physical changes that keep them from participating like they once did.  

The focus of AWG and our fellowship/study is PSALM 92:12-14 

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,

    they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

13 

planted in the house of the Lord,

    they will flourish in the courts of our God.

14 

They will still bear fruit in old age,

    they will stay fresh and green,

15 

proclaiming, “The Lord is upright;

    he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.

There is so much in the book AGING WITH GRACE, which you can get here at the Revive Our Hearts ministries or through Amazon. (Aging with Grace photo art - used by permission. Photos by Susan Boback.)

The interview of the authors is here, a 28-minute listen which gives an overview of the AWG book. 

Can I be completely candid?  I thought Aging with Grace was referring to a graceful attitude, being able to move gracefully despite falling last year or being dizzy now and then.   I loved the idea of gliding through the days ahead, knowing that I could be more graceful!  Funny.  But thinking about the grace I want to have in movement, it isn't too far from the GRACE of Aging and a relationship with Jesus, is it?  With Jesus, I have "goodness and mercy".   I have his "grace is sufficient".  These both refer to movement also, in that a relationship with the LORD is alive, and it cannot be something I can do by myself.

Now I'm wondering, what do you think of the title - Aging With Grace?  You can be honest. Its a good place to start.

So Gracefully, I will look to the Lord for His Mercy and Love as we come a little closer to Him in this stage of life.  Let's continue the discussion.  

Our Opening Prayer today is:

We are addressing the Lord our God.   

Heavenly Father: Your word IS a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.  Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths.  Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You, I will wait all the day long. You have made known to me the paths of life; You will make me full of gladness with Your presence.  (Psalms 119: 105; 25:4-5; Acts 2:28) AWG

Being in fellowship with others takes getting to know one another - we start out strangers, all come from different walks of life, different upbringings - and get to know one another as women of God, coming together in our Afternoon of Life.  

#1. Choose one thing that explains who you are; then in one sentence, tell why this item explains you right now.  

Here's some examples:  a hiking boot, a recipe book, a library book, a potted plant, a notebook, a pillow, a bag of bird food, a musical instrument, keys to a vehicle, bicycle helmet.   You can pick one of these or your own.   

For readers, write this statement in a journal, and then return to it at a later date, when you might decide that your item is changing.

Here's mine: 

Recipe Book. I enjoy baking with my garden produce, zucchini, and something for my husband every week, plus smaller versions to share with others. SB

What's yours?

#2. Sharon, one of the authors, wants you to ask yourself: "what if aging, through challenging, is not a season of purposelessness, but rather an opportunity to discover our true identity in a way we couldn't in the first have of life? " (Page 28)

We're going to open the door to an adventure of God giving us the desire and ability to "age with grace".  That means to grow in a relationship with God through his Word (the Bible), prayer, worship and fellowship."

As you grow older, expectations change, right? Sooner or later you come to realize - I believe this takes time - that there is no perfect family, church, situation or society.   And because we all live in a broken world, we are surprised, aren't we, that things actually go as well as they do. 

Why is that?

Because God's gives us grace upon grace.  (I learned a definition years ago from a woman in her "afternoon of life", G - God's R - redemption A - at C-Christ's E - Expense) 

Did you know that struggling and rejoicing can happen at the same time? Because God gives us the hope "surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life." (page 20, 21) 

"And for those of us already feeling ill-prepared, feeling worthless, and rudderless (page 28) it is not too late to experience God's grace and through His work, make an eternal impact in this season of life."  

So our adventure in the "Afternoon of Life" is going to include making an eternal impact to those around us?  Really?  As we are drawn closer to the LORD through the scriptures, we'll be seeing a different perspective, a perspective that is beyond our physical limitations, our illnesses, our loneliness, our lack of direction.   Now ladies, that sounds almost impossible!  And it would be except "that growing in grace is impossible apart from God's Grace."

This week, write your own Statement of Grace - this is a positive statement of blessings

Here's mine: 

I am 72 years old. I have been married for nearly 38 years, and between our two families, we have 5 grown children, 14 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren. I'm creative and caring for others is my gift.These are my blessings.

Your statement of Grace will be different.  Examples are your age; schooling or occupation; where you've lived; if you've been a caregiver for a parent or family member; what your spiritual gift is; what your retirement is like. State whatever your blessings are and remember, that this is not a competition nor should you feel "less than" if your Statement of Grace is not like anyone else's, OK?

In the "Afternoon of Life" we are looking for a new identity and purpose that transcends it all.   But how?

Psalm 92:12-14 is our answer - to grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord. 

We are like a perennial - we're never finished growing till our season has ended.   When spring comes, the leaves pop out.  I love the spring green that only lasts a little while, then the maples turn to a full leaf and darker green.   We see the changes around the fall equinox, when like a perennial plant, the green slowly fades.   How blessed we are to see yet another stage of the leaves, when they turn colors.  

So now that we are in the Fall season, and our leaves are starting to lose their green - could we say that the leaves are in their own "Afternoon of Life"? and what is to follow, no one knows exactly?  We know there will be a change, that the leaves will be colorful, but we don't know which ones will turn what color and when.  We don't know what the fall season will be like or how long the season will last, do we?  And don't we celebrate fall, because for many of us, what will come next (cold and snow) will not be as enjoyable. 

But we have HOPE because we believe in the Creator God.  We trust Him to proceed with His plan for the change of seasons in nature and in our lives.   Here is a print I made with ink and embossing.  I could not create another one exactly like it no matter how hard I tried.   That is how God thinks of us - we are uniquely individual. 

There is always more grace to experience and more grace to know. 

We will Flourish and be Fruitful as long as we live in these earthly bodies!

It's a blessing to have you on this journey. I encourage you to read the book, Aging with Grace, and listen to the ministry programs online.  

Join us again next week!

Share your thoughts in the comments or email me at sboback54@gmail.com

Aging with Grace - Chapter 1

"Often when a woman retires or when her children leave home, she feels useless because her purpose was centered on what she was doing rather than what she was becoming. The Calling to glorify God transcends place, time, circumstance and age." page 39

Aging with Grace is written by Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt.  The focus is flourishing in an anti-aging culture, when you are in your "afternoon of life" or a Senior Citizen.

I started this Women's Fellowship/Study group because many of my friends or acquaintances and I find we are in this "aging" stage of life, with no guidelines or expectations beyond a few years of retirement.  What's next? we find ourselves wondering.  This book shares the experiences of Senior Women and gives hope through Psalm 92:1, 12-14

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,

    they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

13 

planted in the house of the Lord,

    they will flourish in the courts of our God.

14 

They will still bear fruit in old age,

    they will stay fresh and green,

15 

proclaiming, “The Lord is upright;

 he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.

-----------------------------------------------------

Now here's a summary about what we've discussed so far, but I encourage you to read the book to get a deeper understanding of the life experience and relationships that brought Susan and Sharon to share their faith with us in this book.

QUESTION #1: Do you desire to Flourish? what does that mean?  Flourish is to thrive, in a healthy and vigorous way.  

TODAY IS THE DAY TO FLUORISH! Remember that we are not running this race alone, so let's gather together as women in fellowship and learn to Fluorish even when we don't see how to do that!  Let's no longer depend on the world to prepare us for this "Afternoon of Life" because the world cannot give us hope! (Page 17)

WHAT IF:  we are supposed to discover who we really are or have been since the 1st half of our life?
It’s OK to look back at our lives. 

It's OK to look back at my life for the purpose of PRAISING the Lord for what He has done to bring me this far.

What am I going to do with the time I have left?  We will learn this from Women of the Bible and the scriptures.

Write your own Statement of Grace - this is a positive statement of blessings

Your statement of Grace will be different.  Examples are your age; schooling or occupation; where you've lived; if you've been a caregiver for a parent or family member; what your spiritual gift is; what your retirement is like. State whatever your blessings are and remember, that this is not a competition, nor should you feel "less than" if your Statement of Grace is not like anyone else's, OK?

There is always more grace to experience and more grace to know. 

We will Flourish and be Fruitful as long as we live in these earthly bodies!

I hope that you are able to read this book.  There is so much more to Aging With Grace, than I will get into in my weekly blog posts.  I found that writing on the pages of the book was meaningful too, so write in your book, as I expect to and hope you will, return over and over again for Hope and Encouragement.  This book gives a vast amount of scriptural resources, to be reading and seeking a deeper relationship and understand of the Lord our God.   If you do not have the book, then I highly encourage you to go to Revive our Hearts to listen to this program based on this book OR go to the website for Aging with Grace and watch videos and other materials. 

CHAPTER 1 CONTINUED:

*What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think about God? Keep in mind that our answers will vary; and will show what our relationship is with Christ

What we believe or don't believe about God is part of our daily life. As we face the sorrows of and physical sufferings of aging, Knowing "WHO" God is and "WHO" we are in Christ will comfort and carry us through these times. (pages 31-33)

Here's the point:  we must ask ourselves as we experience our aging troubles, physical and mentally, who is God to us? and who am I with Christ in me?   This is a search only you can reply to and you must ask and answer to move forward in this discussion.   

Now each chapter has points of interest called "Growing in Grace Principle" 

"God reveals himself to us in His Word (the Bible). If we are to Flourish - we declared that we want to flourish didn't we - it will be accomplished by how much time we spend in His Word, getting to know Him."  Did you know that the Word is God's love letter to you?  "An ever-growing knowledge of God produces a more mature God-centered perspective on our identity and purpose, which are the same in every season of life."

So you might recall that in an earlier post, we noted that this Aging with Grace: Fellowship/Study will not be a self help book with a list of ways to survive old age.   

The very first verse of Psalm 92:1 "It is good to give thanks to the Lord".  It is good to thanks to God, but not FOR everything, but IN everything.  That's thanking God IN every situation and relationship. 

And that's not always easy to do is it?  

Why do we do that - give thanks to God in our hurting, in our sorrow, in our frustration, in our lonliness, in our uncertainty? 

Because God is good! and His steadfast Love endures forever!

GROWING IN GRACE PRINCIPLE

The authors write that one way to learn to give thanks and have an attitude of thankfulness is to worship weekly and unite with others to thank Him for His amazing grace. 

If you only remember ONE WORD from this book, (I hope there will be more than one) let it be this:

HESED = STEADFAST LOVE in Hebrew, sometimes translated as lovingkindness

Psalm 92:2 It is good to begin and end each day by declaring the Lord's steadfast love and faithfulness.

HESED appears 250 times in the Old Testament and dominantly with reference to God himself. 

HESED means: God's deep goodness expressed in his covenant (promise) commitment, his absolute loyalty, his obligating of himself to bring to fruition the blessings that He has promised, whatever it may cost Him personally to do that. (Sinclair Ferguson)

What did it cost God? It cost his Son's life.  

Our sin can never out-distance God's Steadfast love and faithfulness. 

Let's paraphrase that.  We can never do anything bad enough that will be worse than the covenant Jesus made with us with His absolute loyalty to make sure that all the blessings He has promised to give us, regardless of the fact that He gave His only Son up, just so He could personally show me His grace upon grace. Read that again to get the deep commitment that God has for you - God's HESED, His steadfast love and faithfulness.   

OK, now this is explaining God's deep and lasting love for each of us sinners though we may be, but how do we continue to be faithful to Him?

The answer is this: to be faithful to seek the Lord, to stay in His word, to join in fellowship with other believers, to proclaim His love together - worship.

Just like the blade of grass, it needs everything the Lord provides to live, we must stay, remain, continue, submit and yes, endure with the Lord God.

GROWING IN GRACE PRINCIPLE

"Our bodies change as we age, so do our spirits. We MUST Guard against our hearts becoming brittle and bitter.  How?  by praying for Grace to Abide in Christ, and to bear fruit of HESED - Steadfast love and Faithfulness to others, even when it is costly to do so. 

So then we look for gladness in people, things, circumstances.  As we think of the Lord's goodness to us, we become good, and we become glad. 

Will we be stiff-necked or shining old ladies? 

Did you know that grey hair is considered a crown of glory? now reading that, I sat a little taller, especially when I read it.  But don't be mistaken about the "color" of hair for it refers to the reflected glory of the one who lives face to face with Jesus, seeking to know Him better each day.

So the Crown of Glory, the Gospel Glow is our grey hair.  (Page 37, 38)

                                     (Art Journaling by Susan Boback)

"Often when a woman retires or when her children leave home, she feels useless because her purpose was centered on what she was doing rather than what she was becoming. The Calling to glorify God transcends place, time, circumstance and age."

GROWING IN GRACE PRINCIPLE
There are many things we can long do as we age, but age does not keep us from fulfilling our purpose to glorify and enjoy God.  An ever-growing knowledge of God's undeserved love - his Grace - changes our motivation.   

Its time to realize God's HESED for us and stop living for ourselves and begin to live for His glory as we Age with Grace! (page 39)

NEXT WEEK: For Next week read LUKE 2:25-38  The Story of Anna - Living Covenantally

Thanks for stopping by! Be Blessed! sb

AGING WITH GRACE INTRODUCTION - Women's Fellowship & Study

Today, we are gathering for fellowship & study.  We are women of the "Afternoon of Life", that is we are women who are between 56 and 83+ years old. We are retired from our lifetime of work, but we have more to live for, more to give, and more to share, even though our society does not honor women of our age.  

Whether you are with us in person, or following online, know that we're glad you're here. If you have a comment or question for me, please leave it at the end of this post or if you want to share a more in-depth experience or ask questions, you can contact me at sboback54@gmail.com.

It is my hope and prayer that you find encouragement through the website, the posts of discussion and our Lord.  There are enough places around the Lord's table, so pull up a chair. 

The book is Aging with Grace which we will discuss and add our own life experiences.  There are many resources available with this study, which we will draw from and use appropriately for our group.  

Take a minute and watch this introduction video from the authors, and then follow along here with my own comments and points of interest. 

The goal of Women's Fellowship & Study is to provide a safe comfortable space for women to gather where we can share our lives, our joys and concerns, as well as learn how to flourish, even though we are aging physically and mentally. (Page 71 of AWG).  

You may want to keep a journal for your thoughts and answers to the questions.   There is not a test.  Only you can answer the questions as we each look at our life. You will be encouraged to write your own story - no, not a book - but your story will help you "to age with grace, to flourish in old age."

Here are questions to ask yourself, but keep in mind its OK if you don't feel like sharing the answers with everyone in the group.  Maybe its even difficult to answer the questions to yourself.  If you decide to read your story (based on these questions) aloud, keep in mind that your answers should be short sentences, so that you're not talking more that 5 minutes.  

What was life like for me as a young girl?

Tell about your family

What is something you have learned about the Lord that you wish you had known at a young age?

What is your greatest joy?

What is your greatest fear or concern in this season of life?

What is a scripture that is special to you?

Do you have a favorite hymn?

The answers may change as you grow in your faith and learn about how to flourish at an older age. There's no right or wrong - this is about you and your life.   

There are many scriptures shared that point us to flourishing.   Psalm 103:15 "life is like a mist or a blade of grass"   or Isaiah 40:8 "grass withers, flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever."

If you think of a blade of grass, it is one among many, many, many.  We don't usually see it by itself do  we? unless its growing in the crack of the sidewalk.  While it is a living thing, did it create itself? How does it survive? Even the air, the sun, water, the nutrients in the soil which a blade of grass needs to survive, are created by God. The grass withers, but God and His Word will stand forever.  

QUESTION #1: Do you desire to Fluorish? what does that mean?  Fluorish is to thrive, in a healthy and vigorous way.  

TODAY IS THE DAY TO FLUORISH! Remember that we are not running this race alone, so let's gather together as women in fellowship and learn to Fluorish even when we don't see how to do that!  Let's no longer depend on the world to prepare us for this "Afternoon of Life" because the world cannot give us hope! (Page 17)

QUESTION #2: Have the older women that have been an influence in your life been "life-givers" or "life-takers"?

MY PERSONAL REFLECTION: My maternal grandmother was a "life-giver". She was quiet yet caring; helpful; teaching; and she shared some concerns with me about my life choices when I was 17.  I'll never forget that she told me that even though I had a beautiful diamond ring, "the diamond doesn't make the marriage." 

My aunt/Godmother was another influence, like a second mother.  She could see relationships like I could not.  She had a protecting attitude towards me, perhaps because she did not have any daughters of her own, yet I knew her concern and love was genuine. 

Another relative excelled in everything she set out to do.  She was quite confident, and to me, then a child, I couldn't think of how to talk to her or relate to anything she said or did. 

QUESTION #3: Now after thinking about the life-givers or takers, do you think about yourself in either way? 

MY PERSONAL REFLECTION: I could see myself as a good, supportive person, and I didn't ever want to portray myself as the know-it-all personality. 

I asked myself, "I'm not old, am I?  I'm not quite there yet am I, at 72?  I'm being reluctant and uncertain.   I have grey hair, no longer working, slowing down physically, not contributing as much." These are the world view of aging, but not with grace.  If I keep focusing on these obvious qualities, I will face fear, dread and denial.  Will that be healthy for me? (AWG)

We're back to QUESTION #1 again. "Do you want to fluorish?"  Yes I say!  Yes!  How about you?

"AGING WITH GRACE" will teach us how to flourish from this day forward.  HOW?  We will fluorish around God's table in community with other women.

"AGING WITH GRACE" is not a list of ideas or formulas

WHAT IF:  we are supposed to discover who we really are or have been since the 1st half of our life?

It’s OK to look back at our lives.  I've got about 69 years of memory (3 y.o. is my first memories) Sometimes its hard not to replay events that we may have not completely healed from; or that we didn't understand; or that remain unresolved.  But here's the thing: the authors of AWG tell us, encourage us, that it’s OK to look back but don't stay in the past! If we're going to look backwards, then let's immediately THANK the Lord for what He has done to pull us through.   Don't Linger in the past - do you do that? be honest with yourself - only look back so you can go forward!

This really hit home with me.  Every now and again, I find myself thinking about my life as a single parent of three; going to college and working to have a better life to raise my children.  I think about how much time has passed and some things aren't resolved.  

The hope I have found: its OK to look back at my life for the purpose of PRAISING the Lord for what He has done to bring me this far; AND What am I going to do with the time I have left?  We will learn this from Women of the Bible and the scriptures.

To summarize this Introduction to Aging with Grace, we have had life givers and lifetakers in our life.  We look backwards at harder times, but we have the Lord to thank for getting us past those times, don't we?   We aren't running this Aging race alone, because we have each other, we have community.  So we ask ourselves: Do we want to Fluorish - to thrive in a healthy vigorous way?  Or do we want to be stuck in the past and let the world's view of an older woman dictate our thoughts with denial, fear and dread?  

FLUORISH together in community? or LIVE IN THE PAST in Fear and dread?

Read our focus verses.  Get to know them - the Lord has given His plan for us in these verses.  

Check out the links by clicking on the colored words.   

Follow along for more of Aging with Grace.  

Write in your journal, or do some doodling to reflect on Psalm 92:12-15

Here’s a bookmark you could make about Psalm 92.  If you got a book from me, then you'll be getting a bookmark. 

                                            

                                                

I gathered some cedar branches and wrapped each piece in packaging tape so it was sealed. You could use a laminator instead if you wish. 

I added the Psalm on one side, and my paraphrase on the reverse.  Fill in the blank with your name.  

                                                

                                                

Thank the Lord for his lovingkindness and fellowship in community.   

Be Blessed! sb