CHAPTER 4 HOPEFUL ONES

 In reading Aging with Grace we have declared that we want to Flourish!  That God loves us with steadfast love - a love that accepts every sin we ever commit and continually loves us deeply in way that we, ourselves are not capable of loving.  We read about destiny and destination, and to praise the Lord right now in our life and not wait out every day just "hanging in there" or "getting by under the circumstances."

                             

It is true that we may feel this way: unloved, sinful, lonely, no direction, no exuberance for joy, or no hope for a blessing now in our senior years. It is true that our lives are changing and that just "hanging in there" is all that we can manage. 

The writers of Aging with Grace, which lead us to the scriptures of the Bible, have given us the insight that there is always more GRACE through our personal relationship with God.  

Aging with Grace is encouragement to women 60 to 80 y.o. and "flourishing in an anti-aging culture." Click on the link to hear the authors who are guests on the Revive Our Hearts ministry page.   There you will also find information about purchasing this book.  Read along with 10 of us who are reading the book.   

I pray that "the God of hope will fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may about in hope." AMEN (Rom 15:13

Chapter 4 has a focus on JEREMIAH 29:11-14

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

The chapter opens with a woman's story about the grief she had after the death of her baby and then her husband. Our author goes on to share how empty her own life was after her kids left for college, one got married, and then one died in a fatal accident.

Even if you haven't lost a child, a spouse, or experienced grief from the personal loss of someone you loved, keep reading as there is more to this chapter than GRIEF.   

GRIEF is more than losing a loved one to death.   GRIEF is any loss we have that changes our lifestyle, our thinking, sleeping, eating, daily life.  You can grieve the loss of a home, perhaps due to a financial crises, loss of independence, fire, tornado or hurricane.  The loss of a job, the income which translates into lifestyle and support for your family is about grief.  When your long-time neighbors have moved or your home church is closing; or you lose your ability to travel or drive or be as active as you once were, its all GRIEF.  

In an earlier chapter, we read that it's ok to look back at our lives, about mistakes or tragedies or wrong paths we followed, but not to linger on those memories and to celebrate how far we've come - how the Lord has blessed us beyond that situation. 

The opening question is "would I stay a prisoner to my grief or trust God to use my grief as a path to deep understanding of His love and purpose for my life?"   Are you stuck in the sadness or frustration or anger or disappointment that your loss has caused in your life?

Be honest.  Look at your life.  What are you hanging on to and trying to manage by yourself?

In Jeremiah we read about the people who were exiled by God due to their decisions to choose alternative lifestyles and gods.   God instructed the people to settle down and flourish.  The people thought it would be a temporary situation, but imagine their disappointment when God did not respond till 70 years later.  Some of these people died before they experienced God's promise. 

When I read about this, it made me think about my own frustrations, of having to wait till I get to heaven to no longer have afflictions or inabilities or illness. 

But then God has already given us the comfort we need - right now!  God has given us Hope, he has given us JESUS!

The Bible verse "Seek and ye shall find" popped into my mind and I realized that we can't sit and wait and twiddle our thumbs!  We have to seek the Lord now, and be in relationship with Him so that we can have the knowledge of his plan for us! the plan that is stated in Jeremiah 29: 11-14!

"This story in Jeremiah is about defiance, doom and destruction.   

Here's the three options that the women of that time had, and that we should be asking ourselves:

1) Do we want to stay in a bad situation, because we don't want to confess and make changes?

2) Do we want to be bitter towards God because we don't trust Him to lead us?

3) Do we want to become humble and trust God's plan and allow it to happen now?

But how about when we feel that because our bodies are breaking down, or beloved people leave our lives, or we're concerned about costs and affording basic needs, or wonder who will take care of us?  Aren't those the things that we, as seniors, experience?"

Scripture promises us that we can be fruitful and flourish but our culture tempts us to believe we are dispensable.  "We do begin to believe that our value is about what we can't do and we forget that we are chosen people of God."

We do have a choice:

1) We can joyfully embrace God's call to live a godly, peaceful life in community with others OR

2) We can choose to be bitter, whining and complaining   

"When the path on which God has placed us seems impossible and we cry out that our hope is lost, the Lord reminds us to cling to the cord of hope that cannot be broken." (Page 90)

"For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephe 2:10

(Prayer by Nancy Lee DeMoss Wolgemuth)

We need fellowship with God's people to inspire us.   We ne

ed to stay close to "hopeful ones" who will be actively involved when we need them.

Who are your "HOPEFUL ONES"?   Are you someone else's HOPEFUL ONE?

Visiting others, calling to check in, sending a text, bringing bakery, making a meal, cleaning, doing laundry, providing transportation, bringing the person on an outing, sitting in quiet, reading the Bible for someone. 

What would enable us to live in a way so that we can help hearts turn others towards God?   Perhaps that's not in your mind - helping someone else turn towards God.  Maybe you just want to have a more hopeful attitude or a peaceful mind.   But don't forget that our lifestyle, actions, conversations do turn others towards God. 

TIKVAH is the Hebrew word for HOPE.

The question we are left with is this:

"How are you traveling heavenward?"

This is a time to look at our lives.   What are we grieving?  What are we putting our trust in?   Who are we spending time with?   Are we just getting by or are we praising the Lord for the plan that He has for us?  Are we seeking Him in our daily walk so that we can KNOW Him and learn of His plan for each day of our lives until we pass from this day to the next?

In this book, there are so much more to read, and to ponder.   Reading the whole chapter and answering the questions at the end are so important for your personal reflection.

Remember that to flourish we need the Lord and we need community.  We will not flourish and experience the HESED (steadfast love) or the TIKVAH (hope) if we try to get by or hang in there till the end of our earthly days.

Let's praise the Lord!  Let's thank him for our life, for our situation today!  And let's remember that these days of our lives are just as important as the years past - we still have a purpose!

I'm so glad you joined me in reading AGING WITH GRACE.  If you're not joining us in person, keep in touch here and by message or email.   

Be Blessed!sb

AGING WITH GRACE - Ch 3 Destiny to Destination

Aging with Grace is a book written by Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt.  We are using this book along with our Bibles in our in-person Womens Fellowship/Study group.  We are glad you are joining us online, either by reading the book, reading these summaries, or by visiting the online resources that coordinate with the book.  You may also decide to purchase the book online - you won't be disappointed.  There are many scripture references for each chapter discussion, plus discussion questions at the end of each chapter.   

I'd love to know your comments, and questions which you can leave at the bottom of this blog post or you can email me at sboback54@gmail.com. 

Make sure to read each of the blog posts starting with an announcement about the goals of the Womens Fellowship/Study and the Introduction of this book.  

We are women, in our late 60's and older, who have felt the changes in our bodies and lifestyles during these years of aging. While each of us comes from different circumstances, when we gather together in person or with you across the internet, we gather as a community of faithful women who are seeking to Know the LORD on a deeper level and especially as we travel through these years. 

CHAPTER 3 DESTINY AND DESTINATION

Heavenly Father: Your word IS a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.  Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths.  Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You, I will wait all the day long. You have made known to me the paths of life; You will make me full of gladness with Your presence.  (Psalms 119: 105; 25:4-5; Acts 2:28) AWG

This week's chapter is focused on Psalm 92:5-11

What comes to mind when you think of the word, "DESTINY"?

"Manifest Destiny" is the first thing I thought of.  It means "the 19th-century doctrine or belief that the expansion of the United States throughout the American continents was both justified and inevitable."

Or how about "Destiny" a Swedish heavy metal band that was formed in 1980.  

I haven't heard this for a while, but you'd often hear that when you found your ideal job or one to love, "it must be my destiny."

From our author, Susan Hunt, her dictionary definition is "a predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible course of events. Synonyms (words that are similar) "fate, fortune, luck, karma, chance, providence, predestination, divine decree, God's will, reflecting two contrasting views."

Scripture tells us God "foreknew" each of us before we were born, and that He has a plan for our lives. (Ephesians 1:4-6)

In Chapter 1 we read this statement:

WHAT IF:  we are supposed to discover who we really are or have been since the 1st half of our life?

This statement seems to make more and more sense as we read and discover that God has planned this stage of our life more than we ever thought.

What comes to mind when you think of the word, "DESTINATION"?

The first definition that popped into my mind was a “Destination Wedding”.  A wedding that is planned all around a special place, a special vacation for a few special people.

The definitions I found are "Place" or "a specific place to arrive at".  The Dictionary definition is finish line; goal to keep in mind; where you intend to end up.

PSALM 92: 5-11

How great are your works, Lord,

how profound your thoughts! Senseless people do not know,

fools do not understand, that though the wicked spring up like grass

and all evildoers flourish,

they will be destroyed forever. But you, Lord, are forever exalted. For surely your enemies, Lord,

surely your enemies will perish;

all evildoers will be scattered.  You have exalted my horn[a] like that of a wild ox;

fine oils have been poured on me. My eyes have seen the defeat of my adversaries;

my ears have heard the rout of my wicked foes.

Our author points us that to the question, 'how are you doing?. We often hear (or we say it ourselves) these responses "Oh, I'm okay under the circumstances," or "I'm hanging in there".  She continues to tell us that if we are in Christ, if we are confident in who we are - an active follower of Christ – we would not be using these phrases.  

The question then is "are you in the world" or "are you in Christ"?

I really have to stop and think about that. An immediate, no doubt response would be "I'm in Christ!" but when I think about saying “I'm okay under the circumstances” or "hanging in", I don't really think of it, until now, as admitting that I don't trust the LORD or believe in His plan for me.

How about you?  There's probably times when we have all felt down or been sick for a long time, and really want things to be better than they have been for some time.

We are created to know God, not by our mental capacity but to personally love the Lord our God.

How about that?   I can KNOW God!  You can KNOW God! and He has a plan for me! He has a plan for you! (Page 65 AWG)

At our age, in the Afternoon of Life, it may be hard for us to think about getting to Know God on a deeper level.

The one word that centers my faith is KNOW.   I realized that I knew who God was; I had learned that; I shared the Word of God with people in worship; I knew about the Old Testament history, and I knew about Jesus in New Testament, days of Jesus walking among the people.   But it wasn't until I felt empty and started to SEEK the LORD of the Bible that I discovered who Jesus really is.

Another phrase we often hear or say ourselves, "I'm too old to change," which is also not Biblical thinking.  Our bodies change, so do our hearts. But “When our hope is in Christ, our circumstances don’t always change, but there is radical change in our character, attitudes and actions.” (Page 66) We have found our DESTINY

PRAISE: Praising God opens the door to who you become NOW.  Its discovering your destiny - your destination from NOW to Eternity.  It doesn't start at eternity. 

Let’s not forget that we proclaimed in the beginning of this study that we want to FLOURISH. Flourishing happens in community.  Old age is a time to press close to community life. (page 72) Even if we cannot always attend worship in person, we can pray for and encourage others.

I had missed two weeks in a row, then went back, then got sick and missed another.   I am grateful for the opportunity to join in worship online with my church family.  But I know of others who cannot attend in person due to their personal or family circumstances. We are still in community with others, joining online and praying for one another. 

“We need the “means of Grace” – scripture, prayer, worship, sacrament – to remind us.  We need fellowship with God’s people to inspire us.  When we gather with others, we look around and see others who are waiting for the Savior.   We see widows, we see women whose lives were taken up with caregiving, we see others who live in chronic pain, and those that are starting after divorce.  The pain and sorrow of this world spills into our lives but we do not live without hope (1 Thess 4:13)”

Matt 18:20 is a reminder to us “where two or more are gathering in my name, there I am among them.” A temptation of those in the Afternoon of Life is to withdraw.  But we FLOURISH when we gather together with God’s people because He is there with us.  

SUMMARY:  Remember that

+          God has a role for us NOW – that our DESTINATION is to be seeking Him, to thrive in Him

+          we are to PRAISE Him NOW through eternity. 

+          we FLOURISH when we can gather together in His name

Thanks for stopping by.   Make sure to click on the links above for information about the book or the Revive Our Hearts Womens Ministry.   Be Blessed! sb

 

AGING WITH GRACE - Chapter 2 ANNA

 

This book AGING WITH GRACE has opened our minds to the realization that just because we don’t have as much of a focus now that our families are grown or our daily work has ended, that there is more to this stage of life than we might have realized. 

Many of us are experiencing a definite change in our bodies: we don’t move as fast as we once did, or we tire easily, or we’re needing a joint replaced.   We also realize that not everyone has the same concerns whether they be physical or social, but the one commonality we have is that we want to FLOURISH, but need some direction. 

PSALM 92 is our focus for this study, verses 12 – 14.

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God.

They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green,

proclaiming, “The Lord is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.

We, Women of Fellowship & Study, have declared that we want to Flourish and Thrive, in this older stage of life. We want to celebrate who we are now.  Its OK to look back at our earlier life, decisions we made, difficult times we went through, but now we are going to thank the LORD for all He has blessed us with to get us to this point.

REVIEW:

CHAPTER 1 “Wonder and Worship” write your own statement of Grace.  Remember that an acronym for GRACE is: God’s Redemption At Christ’s Expense.

A Statement of GRACE is unique to each person.  Here’s mine: I have been married for nearly 38 years.  We are blessed with 5 children between us, 14 grands, 6 great-grands!

Here's my Crown of Glory (Prov 16:33) piece from my art journal.  Do you journal?   This book has given me the beginnings of using my coloring to share the scriptures that are making a difference for me on any given day.    Get a blank journal at the thrift store or use a new notebook.  Put pen or pencil to paper and start.  

What is your Statement of GRACE?

There’s so much truth, hope and scripture in each chapter, so I hope you are able to read your own copy of AGING WITH GRACE by Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt.   You can listen to programming by these women at the Revive Our Hearts women's ministry website, or on YouTube.   You can find the book on Amazon.   You won’t be disappointed if you are in the “Afternoon of Life” and yearning to find more in this stage of life.

Psalm 92:2 tells us that it is good to start each day declaring God’s steadfast love and Faithfulness to us.   This word translated from Hebrew is HESED (page 34-35).  It is a “big” word in the Old Testament, and found 250 times.

To summarize what I believe HESED – God’s steadfast love or lovingkindness means: God's deep goodness expressed in his covenant (promise) commitment, his absolute loyalty, his obligating of himself to bring to fruition the blessings that He has promised, whatever it may cost Him personally to do that. (Sinclair Ferguson)

Our sin can never out-distance God's Steadfast love and faithfulness.

The explanation is of God's deep and lasting love for each of us sinners, but how do we continue to be faithful to Him when we are encountering changes in our lifestyles or daily activities?

The answer is this: to be faithful to seek the Lord, to read His Word, to join in fellowship with other believers, to proclaim His love together - worship.

Did you know that WORSHIP is more than gathering as a community of believers, singing praises, reading scripture, and learning from His Word.   WORSHIP is time spent with the Lord, honoring Him by doing activities that glorify Him, that follow His plan for your life. 

From Bible Hub: Worship is not confined to a location or ritual. Romans 12:1 describes presenting one’s body as a “living sacrifice” as a form of spiritual worship, emphasizing that everyday life can be an act of worship.

We often hear hunters say that being outdoors is worshiping the LORD in His creation.  I have experienced that one time in my life.  

If you are cleaning your home, doing laundry, cooking a meal – that is honoring Him.   If you are taking care of a child or caring for a parent, or helping with a sick friend, that is worshiping the Lord. 

Think of other ways that you can worship the Lord in your daily life.

CHAPTER 2 ANNA – Living Intentionally

The story of ANNA is found in LUKE 2:25-38. This chapter begins with the concept that we are all afraid that we will be cast aside or left alone in our aging years. God meets this deep need that we have by this promise:

“I will be your God, You will be my people, and I will dwell among you”

(Jer 7:23, 31:33, 32:38; Ezek 37:23)

Anna plays a small part in the narrative of the birth of our Savior.   She was a young widow after only 7 years of marriage and until she was 84.  

Think about your life, and a time when you have experienced loss.  Was it the loss of a child? Was your loss part of a career change that affected your income level? Did you experience a change in lifestyle because of a health issue?   Did you lose a chunk of your life because you cared for a parent or a child with disabilities, or a difficult marriage or divorce?

When we have lived through such difficult times, we may have felt the same emotion that Anna felt to be a widow at such a young age. I know how I felt.  The times never seemed to get better.  I remember a time when my garage door broke on top of my car, and on the same day that my pipes froze in my house.  There were no words to say, I was past the point of being upset.  I had to call in to work.   A friend, who seemed to have more faith than ever, suggested to tell God everything I was feeling – to cry out to Him!  But I thought that was so disrespectful!  Yet, what did I have to lose.   These incidents were the beginning of my crying out to the Lord, crying, and having some very heartfelt conversations with Him.   Now my life didn’t suddenly change, and there was an end to difficulties.   But now I began to talk to the Lord, to seek Him to find help.

After the birth of Jesus, Mary and Joseph take Him to the temple at the time of purification.  There, two people have a role in Jesus life.  These two people Simeon and Anna. Make sure to read about Simeon's faith, and Anna.  They were both advanced in age, yet their age did not stop them from waiting for the Messiah. These two older people’s lives intersected with Mary and Joseph and Jesus just at the right moment. (page 48)

In our in-person Women's Fellowship/Study discussions last week, two women were sharing details of their lives growing up.  They had never met, but through conversation, they discovered they were 2nd cousins!

                                            

This is a photo of my new transplant poppy.   I planted it about 3 years ago, but it didn't bloom till October that year.   I cut the stem, brought it in so it wouldn't freeze, set it in the west window, like you see here, and it bloomed.  This poppy was planted by the wind as it is the color of my poppies from the front yard.  It also didn't bloom till later in the summer, almost fall, this year.  I brought this poppy inside too. Although this is a very simple comparison, I'm blessed by this transplant, blooming late in the season. 

Do you ever stop to wonder about being in the right place at the right time?   Sometimes those moments help us to remember that it’s the little occurrences that are the big blessings.

Have you had an experience where you were convinced that the LORD our God has put you and someone else together for a unique specific purpose? 

Anna must have had hopes and dreams of her own, but now they were shattered by the untimely death of her husband. In that culture, her son would have taken care of her, but there is no mention of a son: he could have ignored her, he could have died, or she may not have had any children.  Anna was vulnerable and alone.  Since there’s not much information shared about her life, we don’t know if she turned to the LORD immediately or if she came to know the LORD sometime later. (AWG)

                                                                               This from Isaiah, and a visual, like this watercolor print I made, is often what I need to remember the LORD's promises. 

PAGE 50, 51– “Sometimes the journey through suffering is dark and long. Sometimes the distractions and despair are overwhelming. Anna had reason to despair, but she chose to learn what it meant to worship in this darkness, and find the hope that God would indeed keep His promises.”

Have you experienced this type of loss?

In Matthew, 14:6-12, Jesus learns of the death of John the Baptist; that he was beheaded.   Jesus plans to go away from the crowds to be alone, but the people follow Him and instead of turning them away, so that He could mourn, He ministers to the people instead.

Have you ever pushed through your sorrow or grief, to help someone else?  Doing so seems insurmountable, to reach out to someone when you are in such a sad frame of mind.   But somehow reaching out brings you a joy you didn’t expect or even realize you needed. 

So even though we know as we mature and age that we will experience grief and loss, the HOPE is that we will experience eternal JOY through our relationship with the LORD, which will sustain us through our suffering, though temporary.

ANNA chose widowhood as her platform to glorify God.  She saw her widowhood as a tool, as an opportunity to share her faith with others.

Ask yourself these questions:

Will Hopelessness or hopelessness take up residence in my heart? (Will I stay in my feelings of loss and ask God why He has forgotten me?)

Will I live with the expectation of seeing Jesus someday? (Will I experience joy now instead of thinking it will only come in the end?)

Will I wait with frustration? (What will my daily mood be like, and in relationship to others?)

Will I A.B.I.D.E. in Jesus? (John 15 is The Vine and the Branches:  ABIDE is: Accept Pruning   Believe in His Word  Identify False Vines   Delight in Jesus    Endure Joy)

Let's consider our view of aging and how that impacts our daily choices.

Retirement = best years, more income, bucket list check offs, and doing all the things we never had time for   OR

Retirement = survive the losses, the changes in income, the loneliness, the empty house, feeling useless

HOW do we Flourish with these feelings taking control?   How do we live a long life?

ANSWER: We live intentionally by following the map that God has put before us.  We FLOURISH in our advanced years, by making a point, living intentionally despite the challenges of old age that frighten us. 

                                                           

For some reason, I'm always drawn to flowers that look unique. See that petal that is sticking out?  Perhaps the petal is not as odd as you might think. Instead of referring to it as "the one that sticks out", that petal could get your attention to look a little closer to the whole flower, or even the whole flower bed. Maybe that's what we are hoping for when we get to the "Afternoon of Life," when we fear that we will be set aside or forgotten.    Nowhere does God diminish the value of the elderly (page 55).

To live intentionally we need to see the value in reading God’s word daily, to be in His presence, to KNOW Him and all the sweet promises He has for us.    

END OF CHAPTER QUESTIONS from Aging with Grace

1)       Why do you read the Bible?

2)        Give your idea of the Biblical view of aging and how does that compare to what you believe or believed before you read AGING WITH GRACE?

3)       What is one event in your life that you can see where God is working in you, and to encourage others?

4)        What difference might you make in your life to embrace your loss in your everyday life or in your interactions with others?

Thanks for joining us today in CHAPTER 2 ANNA, of AGING WITH GRACE.   Make time to listen to the discussions on Revive our Hearts by the authors and find their ministry videos on YouTube.

Be Blessed! sb